Sunday, December 4, 2016

A breath away from Death

Breath. Concentrate on my breathing. Breath deep. Everything is going to be alright. I am surrounded by the best doctors and nurses. I am in the best facility in a hundred miles. They have tests and equipment to identify and treat anything. So I just need to be calm and let the professionals do their jobs. Slow deep breaths. I am in the best place possible. They can treat me. They can save me.
Breath. Take my mind off the hurt. It feel...s like a rock is on my chest, making it hard to breath. Try to clear my mind. Breath. It would be easier if it didn’t feel like someone is trying to drive a tent stake into my sternum. Close my eyes and let my mind clear. Concentrate on the pillow under my head. It is soft but hard. It feels like cloth covering plastic. Kinda itchy. Breath. O NO. Now it’s hurting in my back. Feels like someone is punching me between my shoulder blades. Breath. Everything is OK. Count to occupy my mind. 15, 13, 11, 9, 7, 5, 3, 1. Breath. Relax. You are surrounded by pro’s. They know what to do. The pain is subsiding. Keep concentrating on my breathing. O God, my face is tingling. Is it a stroke now, or heart attack? Embolism, or aneurysm? Breath. Come on, I can fight this. They are skilled in life saving. They can fix me. O please, O please. Now I’m starting to chill. The pain in my chest is getting worse. Nausea, dizziness, i’m slipping away.
“Mr. Hypo” announced the Dr as he entered the examination room. Hearing my name, I bolted up into the sitting position on the little exam table, brushing imaginary dust from my shirt and pants.
“Good morning” he added with a smile as he closed the door behind him and sat down in the chair beside me opening my chart. “I see this is an appointment about your anxiety and panic attacks”.

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